Unfortunately, as a woman, it’s unlikely that you will fall on any list of priorities that you will create for your week, month, or even year. Every day I speak to women who never put themselves first, who drain their emotional and physical meters daily, and wonder why they are so unhealthy and unfulfilled. We wear that badge of exhaustion as an honor as we climb in and out of bed every day more drained than the day prior. We listen to the lies about standards and perfection, and we tell ourselves the same kind of lies—likely the same ones our mothers also told themselves, such as, “it’s okay to be a sacrificial lamb.”
There’s a term called “happiness by proxy”—it’s where our own happiness is measured by the happiness of those around us. This is usually enough to get us by, as we dutifully attack the never-ending list of responsibilities to make sure the people in our lives are happy and healthy. But what about your real happiness? What would make you happy? If you made a list of things that truly give you feelings of joy and pleasure, I assure you they would be less grandiose than you’d think.
How do we get to a place of prioritizing our own health and happiness? It’s unfair that it comes so naturally to men, yet it’s another thing that we have to work at. How do we change the narrative in our lives and the lives of all future wives and mothers?
- Give yourself permission to change and acknowledge that it’s important to pursue your own happiness.
- Let go of the guilt. No one will suffer horribly or sink into despair if you take care of yourself.
- Explore your interest. Do you remember what you use to enjoy doing? What have you always wanted to try?
- Say goodbye to the “having it all” mentality. No one has it all. It’s an unrealistic expectation that we created.
- Stop being ok with the “leftovers.” Make time for yourself and make it as important as anything else on the calendar.
It’s your time to prioritize your joy and invest in yourself. You can change the cycle so that your children see something different and don’t fall into the many traps that are set out for women.
What can you give yourself today?